Hungry

Mike Crocker INTERVIEW

Your photography reminds me that we are constantly changing… decaying, aging, and transforming. Why are you attracted to capturing these moments?

Part of it, I think, is an effort to contend with impermanence myself, finding a way to confront the inevitability of decay and trying to do something creative with it. I think a profound beauty can be discovered when studying objects and scenes that are submitting to ruin. I’ve always been drawn to art, movies, and stories where grotesque subject matter is portrayed in an elegant or stimulating way, which is one of my intentions with what I’m working on. To convert what may commonly be perceived as unappealing, or even simply mundane, into something that instead entices the eye, giving it a fresh context. That area of overlap between the corrosive and sublime is what fascinates me. There is a magnificent book by Umberto Eco called, “On Ugliness,” which explores this idea. I recommend it to anyone who has similar tastes.

How, when and why did you get into photography?

It was actually kind of accidental at first; never what I expected would eventually become the central focus of my life. During the Summer of 2004, I picked up a little 3 mega pixel point and shoot Kodak to carry with me on long walks around the city, just to record some of the interesting textures I’d been noticing. Shortly thereafter, I visited some friends in San Francisco where I met a self taught photographer selling his work on the streets. A few of his pictures were right in line with the things I’d begun shooting. He inspired me to connect with the subjects that genuinely affected me and to not be frozen in place by my lack of formal education, which had been a concern of mine. I began studying Art, Photography, and Design books, upgraded to a better camera, and spent more and more time just going out and doing it. I made many, many mistakes along the way, and still do, but I did my best to learn from those errors and continue to progress.

The following year my Father passed away. Afterwards one of the most significant romantic relationships I’d ever been in dissolved completely and I succumbed to a period of extremely erratic and self destructive behavior. Not to sound too dramatic, but it was the bleakest duration of my adult life. I was utterly lost for a very long time. Possessing some sort of creative avenue became absolutely necessary to channel some of the chaos and pain that seemed to saturate every thought or activity I engaged in. Previously I had managed to deal with everything through writing stories and poetry, but upon my Father’s death, nothing I put to paper held any relevance or value for me anymore. It was like that part of my mind had suddenly been rendered inaccessible. Through all of that, though, I still had my camera, which then transformed into my primary tool for expression.

I could project my emotions onto inanimate surfaces that appeared to reflect or suggest an aspect of what I’d been feeling, even if it was just paint peeling from an old wall, or a rusty nail protruding from splintered wood. Photography gave me a way to turn those turbulent circumstances into something positive and personally vital, providing a measure of catharsis during a time when everything else was collapsing around me. As a result I’ve been committed to the medium ever since.

Do you constantly carry your camera with you for that spontaneous shot or do you plan out days to find some images?

I will generally plan ahead for days or chunks of time when I intend to shoot, but once I land in a particular location I’ll often pick a direction at random and just start to wander around. If I’m out and about, involved in other things, I take note of a sight that intrigues me and return as quickly as possible with my camera in hand. Once I’m set on doing it I just try to make myself as aware as I can be to potential images.

Do you like to shoot solo or with someone? And why?

Preferably by myself, though I do have a couple of photographer friends who I’ve gone shooting with before. I like to get into a particular, almost meditative mindset where all of my attention is directed toward finding shots, and if I’m with other people it detracts too much from my focus.
Where do you find most of your images?

All over the place, really. I try to take advantage of whatever presents itself, employing availabilism whenever possible. Many of what I’d consider to be my strongest photos were found within a few blocks of where I lived at the time.

Do you have any interesting stories behind your photos?

There are probably some, but I’d rather just let the images speak for themselves. Because so much of what I do ends up being predominantly abstract I really enjoy when somebody develops their own idea of what they’re seeing, applying their own imagination to it. What the photos were of originally is not as important to me as to how they can be perceived within an alternative context. If someone asks about the origin of a photo I will usually tell them, but the ideal for me is to preserve a kind of mystique about it.
You have your art on quite a few albums, does your art seem to hit a certain type of music?

It doesn’t seem to be too restrictive. The diversity of the bands I’ve worked with has actually been quite surprising to me, ranging from progressive rock to experimental jazz. Last year I shot a fairly large number of pictures for an industrial music project out of Colorado called “Ghost in the Machine,” which is an absolutely exceptional group of musicians and artists. I thought the alignment between music and image was very satisfying with that one. Some of my photos were integrated into the design of their website, while others were used for album art on their first EP, “Reply Hazy,” which can be downloaded from ghostinthemachinecollective.com. Anyone who has a taste for industrial should definitely check them out.

What music are you currently listening to?

It depends on what I’m working on. When shooting or editing I am generally drawn to music that is electronic, industrial, highly emotive, and cinematic, but it varies quite a bit. Nine Inch Nails is pretty much always on rotation. Meat Beat Manifesto, Aphex Twin, and Autechre are some other constants. The most recent Massive Attack album. Some of Alec Empire’s solo stuff, especially “The Golden Foretaste of Heaven.” Fever Ray, Moderat, Big Black Delta. Lots of other stuff, but those are the ones coming to mind.
Can you tell me about your show at the I Witness Gallery located in the Northwest Center for Photography in Portland?

The exhibition is entitled “Cataclysm Conditioning”, and is comprised of 34 images, (12×18 up to 24×36 in size), that span my last few years worth of shooting. It’s the first opportunity I’ve had to present what I feel is a full composite of what I’m striving to accomplish in a gallery setting. I also self published an 80 page book of the same name in conjunction with the show. That collection is available at the gallery as well as through my website. The entire experience has really been nothing but positive, despite the many obstacles that arose. Sharon O’Keefe, the extraordinary woman who runs the center, has been remarkably generous with her time and knowledge. George Olsen, who curated the exhibit, has also been a pleasure to work with. He helped me solve the challenges I’d faced in terms of refining the selection and arrangement to ensure that everything flowed and fit together properly. My hope is for the resulting presentation to be a vivid and satisfying viewing experience. “Cataclysm Conditioning” runs through October 29th and I think is well worth everyone’s time to visit and explore.

Do you have any future plans?

There are a few projects waiting in the wings that I’m pretty excited about.

I will be supplying a cover image for the upcoming album from Out To Lunch, the New York experimental jazz band. I don’t know when that will be released yet, but everything I’ve heard from them has been consistently amazing. Along those lines I want to increase the range of what I’m capable of producing visually to match up with a larger variety of sounds. I immensely enjoy the process of doing album art and would like to keep at it. I’d love to work with some local Northwest bands, which I haven’t had the opportunity to do yet.

I am currently collaborating with my friend, the brilliant writer, Dan Tabayoyan, on a series of books where he writes poetry is response to my photos. The first volume of “Reactions” should be made available in the very near future. I hope people check that out… for Dan’s poetry, if nothing else, because he truly is superb.

As for my personal stuff, I’m starting to get involved with more mixed media projects. I’m going to be generating images composed by arranging found materials and objects that have been subjected to various methods of destruction (such as burning or bleaching) against surfaces that I’ve painted, then shooting and enhancing them digitally. There is more control in doing it that way, more specified intention. It should also help to keep me productive when the weather isn’t being too hospitable.

I plan to continue exhibiting throughout Portland, and hopefully beyond. My goal ultimately is to keep evolving as an Artist, to extend the diversity and reach of what I’m doing, and to not be afraid of exploring new directions in the process. I am greatly looking forward to the work I have ahead of me.

See more of Mike Crocker’s work in the Hungry Eyeball Gallery.